I am a little past the halfway point on a Hawaiian vacation with my parents, and as so often happens when you are relaxed, I have had a brilliant idea. It came to me while eating out at a fancy restaurant. We have been eating out a lot and I have been testing the flight worthiness of cups, plates, silverware, vegetables and bread, both white and whole wheat, when I had a terrific notion. Why not test my own flightworthiness at dinner?
You see below a drawing for a prototype device called The Bungee Baby. Simply put, you clamp it to the table, attach your child to the bungee cord, and let ‘er rip. To the endless amusement of the waitstaff and other diners, too, your child can fly through the air, swoop down at the appropriate moment, and grab a carrot stick, or whatever. I wanted to call this brilliant invention the Baby Actuated Restaurant Feeder or BARF for short, but my mommy said that wasn’t a good name. So it will just be called the Bungee Baby or BB, because it’s fun to have a baby who is also a carrot-stick eating projectile.
It even works if you are a vegetarian, and it works if you are eating fish. Some of you may scoff at this, because you believe brilliant ideas conceived by babies will never fly. But there are a lot of high rollers here in Hawaii, and as I was splashing around in the pool I struck up a conversation with a billionaire backer. It has been said that I am the busiest man on Hawaii, since I am always running wherever I go, slam through dinner in ten minutes, and charge along the beach like a rino on the loose. But I want to make the most of my time here, and take advantage of these flashes of brilliance.