My mommy is a hero to me in so many ways, and not just because she is a superior food source. The other day I got into a fight with a chair. The chair won, pinning me to the ground. I have to tell you, there is nobody on earth who could have lifted that chair away from me. Look at the size of it in the picture. It is HUGE. It would take superhuman strength to lift something like that, but my mommy can do it, and she did.
From time to time my daddy asks me, ‘Hey, how’s the neuron construction going?’ ‘Pretty good,’ I always say, ‘pretty good.’ ‘Okay,’ he says, ‘you’ll be going to college soon, so we better start saving some money.’
He’s right to get moving on that right away. I can sit up now, even though he thought I would learn how to drive a stick shift before I managed that. I have graduated from ‘army crawl’ to crawling really fast on all fours. I can scream quite loudly, especially when my mommy leaves the room. They call this separation anxiety, but I call it common sense. When you have a SuperMommy like I do, you want her around all the time. Here’s why.
- She comforts me after I close my hand in a drawer. Then she comforts me five minutes later, when I do it again.
- She takes me out for Indian food and lets me have a Salt Lassi. (Picture below.)
- She sings to me and reads to me.
- She has encouraged my vocabulary to expand from mama and dada to de de de, hmmmmm, hey ye ye ye, and kegi, which stands for kitty.
- She lets me turn over on the changing table while trying to diaper me, which sometimes results with the diaper securely fastened to my head. I don’t mind. My daddy doesn’t stand for these shenanigans. He pins me to the changing table like an Olympic wrestler.
Since my mommy is a hero to me, I have given some thought to a few things I would like to achieve with her.
My SuperMommy Bucket List
1. Summiting Mt. Everest in a stroller. Because it’s there. Not the mountain, I mean the stroller. It would take superhuman strength to push a stroller to Base Camp, but my mommy can do it.
2. Flying around the world in a two-person plane. Recently I took a plane to New York and back, and for parts of it I screamed so loudly that my daddy was looking for the ejector seat button. Lucky for him, that kind of plane doesn’t have an ejector seat button. But my mommy stood faithfully by me, so I think she would be my first choice as a co-pilot when we circumnavigate the globe together in a solar-powered plane.
3. Journeying to the ocean floor in a two-person submersible. Because there’s nobody I’d rather be in a submersible with than my mommy, even James Cameron. After our heroic dive, as we were ascending slowly to ward off the bends, I know she would sing to me, even through slightly impeded by her face mask with its oxygen-helium-nitrogen mix.
Of course, SuperMommy, there is one more thing I should tell you. You don’t have to be a SuperMommy for me to love you. All you have to do is be there for me and love me. That’s super enough. Happy Mother’s Day.